"Confused" (Meri pahli "swachand" "swatantra" kavita)

Kuch roz pahle, mujhe aisa laga ki maano...mera pratibimb mujhse baatein ker raha ho....
Unhi baato ko main, kaagaz par sametne ki koshish ker raha hoon.....


.............
Har roz ek sapna, dekhta hoon main,
Har roz ek sapna, badalta hai..
Han ye bachpana hi to hai meri,..…ki jo pura na ho saka tto
Har wo sapna mujhe khalta hai…
Har roz mera ek sapna badalta hai….


Har shaam kshitiz par pahunch ker ..
Aisa lagta hai ki main seedhi hi bhool aaya!
Dar lagta hai ki jaise, shayad phoolon ke badlen….
Haathon me sirf shool aaya…..

Ya phir aisa lage….
Ki jo iss mod par khada hai…wo kewal parchaayi hai meri…
Khud ko tto bahut peeche hi kahin, khud ko main bhool aaya…


Aankhein badi hai itni….
Ki sansaar sama leta hoon…
Dil bada hai itna ki…
Agar jaroorat ho kisi ko meri…
Tto khud ko thama deta hoon….

Phir na jaane kyon..ek soona pan sa mahsoos hota hai…
Dabe siskaariyon aur muskuraate hothon ke tale…
Akele mein ye dil rota hai..

Na jaane kyon,ki jag jeetne ka ghamand rakha ker..
Sab kuch gawaayein baitha hoon…
Toot chukka hoon…loot chukka hoon..
Phir bhi na jaane kyon aitha hoon….


Na jaane kitni hi baatein chalti rahti hai…mere ulzhe huye sir mein..
Sach kahoon to aisa lagta hai…..mil gaye jawaab…saare..
Is pudiye wali zehar mein..


Par likhne wale ye to bhool hi gaye..main robot nahi aadmi hoon…
Ki bikhar jaaon ye manzoor hai sahi..
Lekin ladna to meri fitrat mein hai…
Abhi to ek chauthahi hi beeti hai…waqt abhi mere muthhi mein hai,..
Badloonga main bhi, ye waqt bhi, mere bare me sochne wale bhi..


Apni jeet par bhi main…khud ki kalam chalaoonga…
Aaj meri haar ki sun lo..kal laut ke phir aaonga…

Kal laut ke phir main aaonga